I promise I'll stop with the cutting and pasting after this one- I just couldn't resist. :wink:
HELSINKI (Reuters) - Nokia, besides being the world's biggest maker of mobile phones, also dispenses motherly advice on how to drive safely and be healthy, happy and less of a pain in the neck -- if you read the small print.
"Don't use your mobile phone when you're driving. Signal when you change lanes, stop when the light turns red and watch out for that kid on the bicycle... And it wouldn't kill you if you called your mother every once in a while," reads a Nokia marketing brochure.
Friendless phone owners are out of luck if they expect their Nokia cellphones to ring, it adds.
"No one will call you if you don't have any friends," reads the leaflet sent to shops around the world selling the Nokia 6800 model.
Spokesman Pekko Isosomppi told Reuters on Tuesday the phone's disclaimer aimed to lure "young, urban professionals with a good sense of humor."
He said no judicial corners were cut, with all the necessary warnings and product information about mobile phones given and with a bit added for good measure.
In the pamphlet, the handset giant also advises its customers to switch off their phones and forget about work for the weekend if they want to live longer.
Those in need of cellphone etiquette guidance or lifestyle tips could also turn to Nokia: "If you use your mobile phone in a fast-food restaurant, keep your voice down so you won't annoy people. And order a salad ... Quit smoking. Drink less."
Isosomppi said the pamphlet has inspired some conversation in Internet chat-rooms.
"But the reality is that a majority of people miss it. Normally, no one reads (the small print).
"Tragically, a nation that was created by intellectuals and visionaries has now been completely taken over by venal corporate gangsters, delusional Christian fruitcakes and hopelessly shallow Texas shit-kickers." -Tom Robbins
